My life

L.I.F.E.

Sat, 20 Oct 2012 15:18:00 -0400

Life is not a race. Slow down and just enjoy the ride, then will you see the beauty of life. We as a human being often forget what is life and how to appreciate it. That is because we are always chasing for the perfect life, when actually we already have a perfect life that most of us tend to over looked at. I don’t blame you though because now days with all the media and stories about the life of other people have influence us about what a perfect life should be like. But is that really the perfect life or is that just something they tend to put in our mind about how the perfect life should be like? Last time, people work to support their family and doesn’t really care about how much money they earn as long as the family has a place to stay, food to eat and cloth to wear. Now days, most of the people tend to be very picky about the work they want and the rewards for doing the job and when we ask why, they said they want to live a perfect life. It is sad to me when sometimes people think in order to have a perfect life, money is all you need but then, what people don’t realize is the more money you have, the more problems you will be facing. It is because money can change your lifestyle and the people around you. I think the best way to enjoy the life is by appreciating what god has give to us. That way we can really see what is life and how does it evolve.

The Room

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 13:36:00 -0400

I’m trying to leave the room but the door is still open. Every time I walk passed the room, all i can think is you and every time im in the room, the memories that we cherish together keep popping up in my head. I always wonder, after all this, should I close the door or should I just leave the door open. To be frank, Im scared. Im scared that if I leave the door open, I would stay all day in the room without thinking about anything else but if I shut the door, Im scared that I can never open it back.

1st day without my love

Thu, 17 May 2012 13:46:24 -0400

I woke up like normal. got myself ready for friday pray but was a little bit late. After friday prayer I went home and eat lunch. So far everything was still normal and any slight of changes doesnt occur. Went to the gym after my lunch at parade. It was a great work out. atleast it could make me not thinking of her. after work out. i had an early dinner with my friend at dave deli and we chat for a while. Reach home about 8 and then go out again to hang out with my friends at maistreet. had maggi goreng there and we played bunch of cards game but the best game was bluff. Everyone was under pressure and putting their poker face. I won a couple of time. yeay me. haha. last but not least, we headed to uptown for a late dinner. ate steak and dam it was good :) When I reach home. I started to miss my love and then boom. my love whats app me. I was so happy and decided to face time with her. I was missing her the whole time when we talk through face time but i hope she didnt notice that. we have a couple of chat then we off to bed but i was really happy to say good night to my love. i guess that is all for the first day without u love :)

How do I look at you now

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 18:33:00 -0400

Few days ago was the day when I asked her to my prom. I really wish I could post this on the day itself but I was too tired and busy the next day. I am really sorry for that.

Anyway, the day when i asked her to prom was the day when it all started. Today was the day when I did my first surprise towards her and make her dumb founded. This is the point when our love has just bloom and to me today was the day when she know that she is my lover. When I look at her last year, one thing I could see the most was her beautiful smile and I remember every time I’m with her I will feel nervous. I could feel the spark that just lighten in our relationship and every time i spent with her, it was full of excitement. I remember the reason I want to be with her because I can love her without being her boyfriend and I don’t want to get controlled by anyone and I don’t want to control anyone. As time past, the way I look at her are also different. I started to care more and more about her, love her more everyday. I could just be by her side and feel the love that we have. It is not just a spark or excitement this time, its the whole thing. Till now we are like a happy couple. Don’t get me wrong. It is not because I want to be like a happy couple but as time fly, my feeling towards her has become deeper and of course till a certain part I just want to take care of her my whole life. I want to guard her because I care so much about her. I want to be by her side during happy and sad moments. All this happend naturally. I’ve never force myself to love her and care for her because that is not a must when you are not her boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder what we have become now. Everything has changed, our point of view are also different than last time, but to me that changed is a good change. I have never force myself to care about her, I have never force myself to love her. That this just so happen naturally. Time really create all this and I am glad that we have this relationship because i know if we are boyfriend and girlfriend, this won’t went as smooth as this. Thank you love for letting me to be in your life <3 happy special day to you :)

One year ago

and now :)

She deserves to be loved

Sun, 07 Aug 2011 14:45:18 -0400

I can’t talk spontaneously to her. I cant feel the love in my heart. I cant think straight. I can’t feel the love that she gave to me. I can’t even be myself. The only thing in my head was exams and exams over and over again. She doesn’t know about this but this is why I keep saying sorry to her lately even when she didn’t do anything wrong.

She is such a wonderful girl. She didn’t expect any return when she texted me. She doesn’t expect any call during the day. She gave me time to study when I need it. She support me trough my studies. She bring me up when I am down. She even being patience with my exams. She deserves more in return but yet I gave her nothing. She deserves to be love.

A tiny message for my love. I know I haven’t be the best person lately. I have not been myself. One thing for sure I know I am still in love with you. You are everything I ever wanted. I am really sorry for my behavior. You deserve better. I won’t promise but I will try my best to give you my best even with all the pressure on my shoulder. Last but not least, I am sorry :(

Trust my love and everything will be fine

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 14:45:38 -0400

please stay tunes ;)

It will not be the same without you

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 14:45:03 -0400

I am currently doing FIA in UiTM shah alam. Getting an ACCA qualification and becoming a successful accountant is my dream. I would work my ass off to archive this dream. I even make some ground rule for myself to keep track with my studies. Some of it are no sleeping during the lecture and makes notes after you studied that chapter. I obey this rule and hoping it will help me getting an A for my FIA papers. I know I may sound like a nerd but there just something an eldest son need to do.

But you know what, I still not forget about you my love. I may have been missing in action but trust me, I always think about you. It just I got caught up with the college life I guess and been busy revising every day. One thing I want to say is love, all my dream above will not be the same without you. With you in my life, you will always give me support for me to archive my dreams. You even gave me inspiration to study. I admire the way you study. I even copy you about method to study. Try to imagine if you are not in my life. I maybe playful with my studies because of my college life. I maybe unmotivated to persuade my dream and I will definitely have no one to love. There is so many great things you bring to me, my love and I want to say thank you for all the great things :)

How big is our love ?

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 13:48:05 -0400

We have put our realationship in way the is futher than we can imagine. Now days, I can only meet her once in a week. Its sucks right but some how it has make us more close to each other, more attracted to each other and it made our moment even more meaningful. its not that it was not meaningful before but the meeting for once a week has spark our relationship :) so I guess we need to be thankful instead. but I still dun like it because I only got to meet you only once a week :( My friend once said if you let someone miss you, it will make both of the love more stronger than before. I guess he was right then :)

First Birthday in you and I am finally 18 bitches

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 12:28:12 -0400

It was better than I was expected. My love actually mady my day. haizz.. tgh malas ni. ltr sambung :P

Last goodbye

Fri, 20 May 2011 13:59:36 -0400

Our last goodbye before college start was kind of simple and yet meaningful. We didn’t say anything about our feeling but we show it how much we care for each other. It was just a short goodbye before we can meet again. Remember when we had to separate for 10 days last time? We cant comunicate with each other for 10 days. It was hard. I wonder how will I react when college start. Will I be missing you or will I just live my life like normal. As if now I already being emotional. Maybe it’s just about leaving to college. I am afraid honestly. Afraid of me and you. The things that I most afraid of is losing you. Maybe thinking about losing you made me emotional and can’t enjoy what I have now. Uhh… that is bad ashraff. I should enjoy what I have now and stop thinking about what if I lose her. Lately, I was being very emotional. hmm…. I should fix this before its too late. I hope I can figure it out fast because I really do want to enjoy my life with you and not being moody like a cow when he get mad :P

I wish I have a big table just for me to use alone. I wish I have my own room for myself so I can...

Sun, 17 Apr 2011 08:32:00 -0400

I wish I have a big table just for me to use alone. I wish I have my own room for myself so I can have my privacy inside . I wish I can have my own laptop so I can keep all my stuff inside it and people won’t know about it . I wish my english is good so I can write better . I wish no one in my family bother when I’m writing down something personal so I won’t have to wait till they all getting to sleep . I wish I have a phone that can jock down what ever I am saying or thinking . I wish I have a big book so I can write millions of events . I wish I can remember all my memories so I can see it much clearer . I want all this wishes to be granted so that I can write in the book whatever I like , I feel and when ever I want so that I won’t lost my mojo . I just want to make the best book for you to read and that can bring you to tears :’)

The stare

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 00:58:43 -0400

I saw you stared at me when we were in the tea cup. The deep stare that you always give to me when you look at my heart. the stare that just show how much you care , thankful and glad to have me in your life . That stare caught my attention . It made me think too . It made me think about have you ever wonder to go to SL with a guy . It also made me think whether can you image yourself with a guy at SL? When I pop out the question , you straight away answer my question with a no . You know love . The answer no that came out from your mouth really made me feel special . Plus , the look at you beautiful face added to the feeling . I love staring at you when you are having a flu , fever or when you are sweating . Easy to say, I love staring at you when you are not looking well . Wanna know something? I think you are still beautiful when your nose become red , your forehead have the black spot and even when your nose is watery . To me , no matter how do you look , you are enough for me :)

I want her :)

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 00:40:00 -0400

I am in love with this girl . The way she made me feel is different than anyone else. Every day , I wish I could just be by her side . I want to spend my daily life with her because I know it will be fun to put her in my daily life. There will be a lot of laughing , playing around , spoiling each other , and loving each other. I won’t say it will be perfect because obviously there will be a little problem here and there . Well no one is perfect in this world right, but I know she can just fit in . And if there any problem , we will solve it together because she and I versus the world .

She has just got an interview for a scholarship. What should I do now? Am I suppose to be freak out...

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 14:28:36 -0400

She has just got an interview for a scholarship. What should I do now? Am I suppose to be freak out or am I suppose to be happy. Don’t get me wrong. it just… What will happen between me and her? are we going to be fine? Even now, my attitude has bring us down a lot of time. I wonder what will happen when there will be more person for her to meet. The possibility of her to meet a better person than me is more than 50%. Honestly, I don’t want to lose her in my life. That is one of my biggest fear right now. I know I might not be the perfect guy for her but she is enough for me. I don’t want something better. but what the heck…. I need to be open my eyes. I am still 18 for god sake. One thing is, Every time when I open my eyes to check out some other girls, I will still want her. What should I do? Am I blinded by love? or she just way more better than any other girls out there for me? hmmm….. Despite anything, I am still proud of her for getting the interview. Congratulation alyssa :)

There is just something about you

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:12:16 -0400

There is just something about you that make go for you.

There are millions of girls out there that i keep putting my eyes on.

I keep my eyes open but yet in my heart keep sticking on you.

You make it real for me my love.

Ughh.. Easy to say. You are my love :)

fuckingvulgar: You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking...

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 11:54:07 -0500

fuckingvulgar:

You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.

Haizz...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 13:10:00 -0500

Sometimes when there is a problem in life, you just need to stop for a while and think about the problem. It will be hard for you to continue your life like normal when the problem is still in your head. You need to think about what is the right thing you should do. Sometimes, I think by ignoring the person and leave the drama aside is the best thing but I guess I was wrong. When I put it aside, the problem tend to come to me and made me think about it all the time. Maybe I should go to see that person and ask him what is the problem. Even if the solution is not the way I like it, at least I have solve the problem right? and It wouldn’t bug my mind anymore. One thing that hold me back is I’m scared. I’m scared that if I keep doing this, all the people around me will take me for granted and I don’t want that to happen but if I just ignore it, it will bother me more. I tend to ask myself what should I do, be a nice guy and people will think you are weak or be the I-don’t-care guy and thing will not get solve.

It made me wonder, will friend last? because so far as I concern, I want it to last and not stop being friends. I mean friends can fight with each other but don’t stop being friends just because of something. For me, I think it is better to advice the friend what should they do and make him learn his lesson about it like scold him or punch him. When you punch a friend after he/she did something wrong, it doesn’t mean that you just break your friendship, It just show that, dude you did something wrong and you need a lesson bro. that is all.

One thing I learn after this is, when there is a problem, solve it first or not it will cause you another problem. Your mind is not free of stress yet and that will turn something that is not a problem into a problem.

You are the reason but you are not the reason for everything

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 14:54:00 -0500

I run because I want to. I made a move because I want to show her how I feel about her. I explain because I want to get things clear. You wrote her address just for fun okay. you told me that. You helped me when she didn’t answer. I never knew her mum had doubt on me before.

I really want to thank you for introducing me to her. I can never repay what you have done to me. but one thing is, when I do something, it doesn’t always mean that you ask me to do it or you had something to do with it. Its about whether do i want to do it. one good example is, you can always tell me to chase for her but what if I don’t want to. It doesn’t make any different right. It is not always about you in me and her. Plus, if you really sincere about what you have done to me. you wont brought that thing up over and over again.

I know you are the main thing that brought me and her together but it doesn’t mean everything I’ve done for her I need to thank you. You are the match maker but you only that. you are not the relationship planner so I can’t thank you when I plan something for her. But the things I can thank you are for trusting me with her, introducing me to her, get information from her and calm me down when Im being crazy.

Live your life my friend

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 14:40:16 -0500

When you see someone is so fragile get into a relationship with someone, it will just make you scared. scared that the person will get hurt. I don’t want something like last time to happen. remember H. It is something similar. That is why I wan you to tell kiddo about him so she can tell you her opinions because I don’t know him so I don’t want to give my opinion about him. that is why I just told you to be careful because I don’t know anything about him. but Im really sorry for put a lot of pressure on you. I don’t mind you dating him, Im just scared about are you going to get hurt again. Its killing me when someone I close with getting hurt. so what I want to say now is, you can date him. I don’t mind because maybe he is the right one for you who knows. Don’t let what your friends and me influence you kay. make your own decision. you a big girl now. last thing is, you can still count on me if you get hurt by someone :)

Easy way out

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 12:29:09 -0500

In life there is no easy way out. If you have done something wrong, deal with it. accept it as a lesson for you. I hate it if someone like to escape from what they have done. example, people smoke when they get stress with jobs, people drink when they got issues and people throw away the baby when they got pregnant. Life is full of challenges. We as human being need to know how to handle it after we have done something. This is all a test from god. Even if it doesnt seems like a sin but still trying to take the easy way is still wrong to me.

You off your phone because you do not want to get distracted after you over slept instead of doing your homework. That just show that you like to use the easy way and not the correct way. plus it just show how weak you are about handling stuff. That just show that you can’t be organized and cant handle situation. Its like you are not urself just now. If you were being you I bet you know how to avoid yourself from distraction and will still on the phone in case of something happen because you are a determine person. You will stick to ur mind that u will finish the homework without getting any distraction because Ive seen that side of you before.

But what I did was wrong too. I shouldn’t take in charge like its my life. I was just upset because you overslept because of me so Im trying to make sure you will not be asleep again. When you lose it, i want to make sure you do your homework and dont stress because you overslept. I will check on you so you wont be sleeping again and when I cant reach you, the only thing in my head is you are asleep even though your not. I know you told me before you going to visit your grandma but you know how my brain works when under pressure right. but actually all i did was giving you more stress. Im sorry. I wasn’t think far ahead. I was just follow my guts. my guts sucks sometimes you know. When I get back. hopefully we can forget about this and keep reminding each other what actually we want so we wont lose ourself.