I wish I have a big table just for me to use alone. I wish I have my own room for myself so I can have my privacy inside . I wish I can have my own laptop so I can keep all my stuff inside it and people won’t know about it . I wish my english is good so I can write better . I wish no one in my family bother when I’m writing down something personal so I won’t have to wait till they all getting to sleep . I wish I have a phone that can jock down what ever I am saying or thinking . I wish I have a big book so I can write millions of events . I wish I can remember all my memories so I can see it much clearer . I want all this wishes to be granted so that I can write in the book whatever I like , I feel and when ever I want so that I won’t lost my mojo . I just want to make the best book for you to read and that can bring you to tears :’)
The stare
I saw you stared at me when we were in the tea cup. The deep stare that you always give to me when you look at my heart. the stare that just show how much you care , thankful and glad to have me in your life . That stare caught my attention . It made me think too . It made me think about have you ever wonder to go to SL with a guy . It also made me think whether can you image yourself with a guy at SL? When I pop out the question , you straight away answer my question with a no . You know love . The answer no that came out from your mouth really made me feel special . Plus , the look at you beautiful face added to the feeling . I love staring at you when you are having a flu , fever or when you are sweating . Easy to say, I love staring at you when you are not looking well . Wanna know something? I think you are still beautiful when your nose become red , your forehead have the black spot and even when your nose is watery . To me , no matter how do you look , you are enough for me :)
I want her :)
I am in love with this girl . The way she made me feel is different than anyone else. Every day , I wish I could just be by her side . I want to spend my daily life with her because I know it will be fun to put her in my daily life. There will be a lot of laughing , playing around , spoiling each other , and loving each other. I won’t say it will be perfect because obviously there will be a little problem here and there . Well no one is perfect in this world right, but I know she can just fit in . And if there any problem , we will solve it together because she and I versus the world .
She has just got an interview for a scholarship. What should I do now? Am I suppose to be freak out or am I suppose to be happy. Don’t get me wrong. it just… What will happen between me and her? are we going to be fine? Even now, my attitude has bring us down a lot of time. I wonder what will happen when there will be more person for her to meet. The possibility of her to meet a better person than me is more than 50%. Honestly, I don’t want to lose her in my life. That is one of my biggest fear right now. I know I might not be the perfect guy for her but she is enough for me. I don’t want something better. but what the heck…. I need to be open my eyes. I am still 18 for god sake. One thing is, Every time when I open my eyes to check out some other girls, I will still want her. What should I do? Am I blinded by love? or she just way more better than any other girls out there for me? hmmm….. Despite anything, I am still proud of her for getting the interview. Congratulation alyssa :)
There is just something about you
There is just something about you that make go for you.
There are millions of girls out there that i keep putting my eyes on.
I keep my eyes open but yet in my heart keep sticking on you.
You make it real for me my love.
Ughh.. Easy to say. You are my love :)
You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.
(via feeclochette-syndrome)
Haizz…
Sometimes when there is a problem in life, you just need to stop for a while and think about the problem. It will be hard for you to continue your life like normal when the problem is still in your head. You need to think about what is the right thing you should do. Sometimes, I think by ignoring the person and leave the drama aside is the best thing but I guess I was wrong. When I put it aside, the problem tend to come to me and made me think about it all the time. Maybe I should go to see that person and ask him what is the problem. Even if the solution is not the way I like it, at least I have solve the problem right? and It wouldn’t bug my mind anymore. One thing that hold me back is I’m scared. I’m scared that if I keep doing this, all the people around me will take me for granted and I don’t want that to happen but if I just ignore it, it will bother me more. I tend to ask myself what should I do, be a nice guy and people will think you are weak or be the I-don’t-care guy and thing will not get solve.
It made me wonder, will friend last? because so far as I concern, I want it to last and not stop being friends. I mean friends can fight with each other but don’t stop being friends just because of something. For me, I think it is better to advice the friend what should they do and make him learn his lesson about it like scold him or punch him. When you punch a friend after he/she did something wrong, it doesn’t mean that you just break your friendship, It just show that, dude you did something wrong and you need a lesson bro. that is all.
One thing I learn after this is, when there is a problem, solve it first or not it will cause you another problem. Your mind is not free of stress yet and that will turn something that is not a problem into a problem.
You are the reason but you are not the reason for everything
I run because I want to. I made a move because I want to show her how I feel about her. I explain because I want to get things clear. You wrote her address just for fun okay. you told me that. You helped me when she didn’t answer. I never knew her mum had doubt on me before.
I really want to thank you for introducing me to her. I can never repay what you have done to me. but one thing is, when I do something, it doesn’t always mean that you ask me to do it or you had something to do with it. Its about whether do i want to do it. one good example is, you can always tell me to chase for her but what if I don’t want to. It doesn’t make any different right. It is not always about you in me and her. Plus, if you really sincere about what you have done to me. you wont brought that thing up over and over again.
I know you are the main thing that brought me and her together but it doesn’t mean everything I’ve done for her I need to thank you. You are the match maker but you only that. you are not the relationship planner so I can’t thank you when I plan something for her. But the things I can thank you are for trusting me with her, introducing me to her, get information from her and calm me down when Im being crazy.
Live your life my friend
When you see someone is so fragile get into a relationship with someone, it will just make you scared. scared that the person will get hurt. I don’t want something like last time to happen. remember H. It is something similar. That is why I wan you to tell kiddo about him so she can tell you her opinions because I don’t know him so I don’t want to give my opinion about him. that is why I just told you to be careful because I don’t know anything about him. but Im really sorry for put a lot of pressure on you. I don’t mind you dating him, Im just scared about are you going to get hurt again. Its killing me when someone I close with getting hurt. so what I want to say now is, you can date him. I don’t mind because maybe he is the right one for you who knows. Don’t let what your friends and me influence you kay. make your own decision. you a big girl now. last thing is, you can still count on me if you get hurt by someone :)
Easy way out
In life there is no easy way out. If you have done something wrong, deal with it. accept it as a lesson for you. I hate it if someone like to escape from what they have done. example, people smoke when they get stress with jobs, people drink when they got issues and people throw away the baby when they got pregnant. Life is full of challenges. We as human being need to know how to handle it after we have done something. This is all a test from god. Even if it doesnt seems like a sin but still trying to take the easy way is still wrong to me.
You off your phone because you do not want to get distracted after you over slept instead of doing your homework. That just show that you like to use the easy way and not the correct way. plus it just show how weak you are about handling stuff. That just show that you can’t be organized and cant handle situation. Its like you are not urself just now. If you were being you I bet you know how to avoid yourself from distraction and will still on the phone in case of something happen because you are a determine person. You will stick to ur mind that u will finish the homework without getting any distraction because Ive seen that side of you before.
But what I did was wrong too. I shouldn’t take in charge like its my life. I was just upset because you overslept because of me so Im trying to make sure you will not be asleep again. When you lose it, i want to make sure you do your homework and dont stress because you overslept. I will check on you so you wont be sleeping again and when I cant reach you, the only thing in my head is you are asleep even though your not. I know you told me before you going to visit your grandma but you know how my brain works when under pressure right. but actually all i did was giving you more stress. Im sorry. I wasn’t think far ahead. I was just follow my guts. my guts sucks sometimes you know. When I get back. hopefully we can forget about this and keep reminding each other what actually we want so we wont lose ourself.
