Life is not a race. Slow down and just enjoy the ride, then will you see the beauty of life. We as a human being often forget what is life and how to appreciate it. That is because we are always chasing for the perfect life, when actually we already have a perfect life that most of us tend to over looked at. I don’t blame you though because now days with all the media and stories about the life of other people have influence us about what a perfect life should be like. But is that really the perfect life or is that just something they tend to put in our mind about how the perfect life should be like? Last time, people work to support their family and doesn’t really care about how much money they earn as long as the family has a place to stay, food to eat and cloth to wear. Now days, most of the people tend to be very picky about the work they want and the rewards for doing the job and when we ask why, they said they want to live a perfect life. It is sad to me when sometimes people think in order to have a perfect life, money is all you need but then, what people don’t realize is the more money you have, the more problems you will be facing. It is because money can change your lifestyle and the people around you. I think the best way to enjoy the life is by appreciating what god has give to us. That way we can really see what is life and how does it evolve.
I’m trying to leave the room but the door is still open. Every time I walk passed the room, all i can think is you and every time im in the room, the memories that we cherish together keep popping up in my head. I always wonder, after all this, should I close the door or should I just leave the door open. To be frank, Im scared. Im scared that if I leave the door open, I would stay all day in the room without thinking about anything else but if I shut the door, Im scared that I can never open it back.
I woke up like normal. got myself ready for friday pray but was a little bit late. After friday prayer I went home and eat lunch. So far everything was still normal and any slight of changes doesnt occur. Went to the gym after my lunch at parade. It was a great work out. atleast it could make me not thinking of her. after work out. i had an early dinner with my friend at dave deli and we chat for a while. Reach home about 8 and then go out again to hang out with my friends at maistreet. had maggi goreng there and we played bunch of cards game but the best game was bluff. Everyone was under pressure and putting their poker face. I won a couple of time. yeay me. haha. last but not least, we headed to uptown for a late dinner. ate steak and dam it was good :) When I reach home. I started to miss my love and then boom. my love whats app me. I was so happy and decided to face time with her. I was missing her the whole time when we talk through face time but i hope she didnt notice that. we have a couple of chat then we off to bed but i was really happy to say good night to my love. i guess that is all for the first day without u love :)
Few days ago was the day when I asked her to my prom. I really wish I could post this on the day itself but I was too tired and busy the next day. I am really sorry for that.
Anyway, the day when i asked her to prom was the day when it all started. Today was the day when I did my first surprise towards her and make her dumb founded. This is the point when our love has just bloom and to me today was the day when she know that she is my lover. When I look at her last year, one thing I could see the most was her beautiful smile and I remember every time I’m with her I will feel nervous. I could feel the spark that just lighten in our relationship and every time i spent with her, it was full of excitement. I remember the reason I want to be with her because I can love her without being her boyfriend and I don’t want to get controlled by anyone and I don’t want to control anyone. As time past, the way I look at her are also different. I started to care more and more about her, love her more everyday. I could just be by her side and feel the love that we have. It is not just a spark or excitement this time, its the whole thing. Till now we are like a happy couple. Don’t get me wrong. It is not because I want to be like a happy couple but as time fly, my feeling towards her has become deeper and of course till a certain part I just want to take care of her my whole life. I want to guard her because I care so much about her. I want to be by her side during happy and sad moments. All this happend naturally. I’ve never force myself to love her and care for her because that is not a must when you are not her boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder what we have become now. Everything has changed, our point of view are also different than last time, but to me that changed is a good change. I have never force myself to care about her, I have never force myself to love her. That this just so happen naturally. Time really create all this and I am glad that we have this relationship because i know if we are boyfriend and girlfriend, this won’t went as smooth as this. Thank you love for letting me to be in your life <3 happy special day to you :)
One year ago
and now :)
I can’t talk spontaneously to her. I cant feel the love in my heart. I cant think straight. I can’t feel the love that she gave to me. I can’t even be myself. The only thing in my head was exams and exams over and over again. She doesn’t know about this but this is why I keep saying sorry to her lately even when she didn’t do anything wrong.
She is such a wonderful girl. She didn’t expect any return when she texted me. She doesn’t expect any call during the day. She gave me time to study when I need it. She support me trough my studies. She bring me up when I am down. She even being patience with my exams. She deserves more in return but yet I gave her nothing. She deserves to be love.
A tiny message for my love. I know I haven’t be the best person lately. I have not been myself. One thing for sure I know I am still in love with you. You are everything I ever wanted. I am really sorry for my behavior. You deserve better. I won’t promise but I will try my best to give you my best even with all the pressure on my shoulder. Last but not least, I am sorry :(
please stay tunes ;)
I am currently doing FIA in UiTM shah alam. Getting an ACCA qualification and becoming a successful accountant is my dream. I would work my ass off to archive this dream. I even make some ground rule for myself to keep track with my studies. Some of it are no sleeping during the lecture and makes notes after you studied that chapter. I obey this rule and hoping it will help me getting an A for my FIA papers. I know I may sound like a nerd but there just something an eldest son need to do.
But you know what, I still not forget about you my love. I may have been missing in action but trust me, I always think about you. It just I got caught up with the college life I guess and been busy revising every day. One thing I want to say is love, all my dream above will not be the same without you. With you in my life, you will always give me support for me to archive my dreams. You even gave me inspiration to study. I admire the way you study. I even copy you about method to study. Try to imagine if you are not in my life. I maybe playful with my studies because of my college life. I maybe unmotivated to persuade my dream and I will definitely have no one to love. There is so many great things you bring to me, my love and I want to say thank you for all the great things :)
We have put our realationship in way the is futher than we can imagine. Now days, I can only meet her once in a week. Its sucks right but some how it has make us more close to each other, more attracted to each other and it made our moment even more meaningful. its not that it was not meaningful before but the meeting for once a week has spark our relationship :) so I guess we need to be thankful instead. but I still dun like it because I only got to meet you only once a week :( My friend once said if you let someone miss you, it will make both of the love more stronger than before. I guess he was right then :)
It was better than I was expected. My love actually mady my day. haizz.. tgh malas ni. ltr sambung :P
Our last goodbye before college start was kind of simple and yet meaningful. We didn’t say anything about our feeling but we show it how much we care for each other. It was just a short goodbye before we can meet again. Remember when we had to separate for 10 days last time? We cant comunicate with each other for 10 days. It was hard. I wonder how will I react when college start. Will I be missing you or will I just live my life like normal. As if now I already being emotional. Maybe it’s just about leaving to college. I am afraid honestly. Afraid of me and you. The things that I most afraid of is losing you. Maybe thinking about losing you made me emotional and can’t enjoy what I have now. Uhh… that is bad ashraff. I should enjoy what I have now and stop thinking about what if I lose her. Lately, I was being very emotional. hmm…. I should fix this before its too late. I hope I can figure it out fast because I really do want to enjoy my life with you and not being moody like a cow when he get mad :P